Dining

When having a group meal in a Chinese restaurant, the host is given one menu and orders for the entire group. Be advised that “going dutch” doesn’t exist, and the one who invites is the one
who pays.

Tipping is not practiced, and can be insulting if you attempt it.

Be careful on your birthday. My young American friend Todd was having his 19th birthday in China and all our friends said they wanted to take him out for a birthday meal. He was happy there were so many people who wanted to join him for the big birthday dinner and we all feasted sumptuously. We didn’t realize until the bill came that Todd was expected to pay for everyone’s
meal. After our Chinese friends left all the lao wai chipped in and covered the bill.

The banquet host is usually the one who invited everyone to eat. It is important for the host to save face, so he will usually order twice as much food as your group could actually eat. If there are multiple tables, each table will receive the same dishes. To be polite you should sample each dish.

Seating is important at Chinese banquets. Usually the host sits furthest away from the door with his back to the wall sort of like the old Mafia movies. His counterpart, that is the highest-ranking person in your party, sits next to the host, usually to his right. On the host’s left side are the
other managers or officials seated in descending order of rank. It is the same on your side.

Speech-giving is common at banquets with the host first giving a speech that ends with a toast. In a typical speech, the host stands holding a small glass of alcohol, then briefly says something about his company, your company, and the fruitful partnership and friendship. At the end he raises his glass, shouts 干杯! gan bei! literally meaning “dry cup.” This is the Chinese version
of “Cheers!” Soon after, the host’s counterpart on the other side is expected to give a similar speech. Keep it short; keep it positive. This sequence often continues through three managers then the cycle may repeat. In the end you maybe drunk and will have made new friends. This, of course, is the traditional banquet, but fortunately these are decreasing in popularity.

Your host may put food on your dish as a friendly gesture; it is okay for you to do the same. In mainland China, diners usually use their own chopsticks to pull food from the communal dishes in the middle of the table. It signifies trust; my germs and your germs are gonna be great friends. The Taiwanese are appalled by this practice. Germaphobes, perhaps. If you happen to
be sick, get a second pair of chopsticks to use for serving, but don’t announce that you’re sick. Banquets are a festive occasion and you shouldn’t be Debbie Downer.

Also don’t stick your chopsticks in your rice bowl standing upright. It looks like joss sticks at a funeral and is therefore yet another symbol of death.

Meals are often served on a Lazy Susan, and it is usually only spun clockwise giving everyone a chance to sample each dish. Just like pizza etiquette in the U.S., make sure you don’t take more than your share of a particular dish until the dish has made one complete circle around the table.

The Chinese typically have a great sense of humor and they may order one or two dishes just to shock you such as chicken sternums, duck heads, or cicada larva. For some reason cold pig ear salad has become popular these days.

If you really like the food, you must pace yourself, because the banquet may have up to twenty dishes. At the end leave some food on your plate to show the host you’ve had enough.