Gifts

Gifts are regularly exchanged at initial business meetings. Gifts are considered goodwill gestures between the two companies, rather than between the individuals. Just as in the U.S., companies give a variety of pens, bags, and other practical things that bear the company’s logo. For more thoughtful gifts, consider something related to your hometown.

Coming from California, we’ve found our Chinese counterparts appreciate a box of See’s candy or a gift box of California products such as cashews.

If you forgot your gifts or ran out, just visit the local fruit shop or flower shop. Both will quickly prepare a beautiful basket for you at a fraction of the cost you’d expect to pay.

It is customary to refuse gifts and invitations at least twice before accepting. The Chinese are very hospitable and will offer generously even when it is not in their means to be generous. Stories abound of the ignorant foreigner who accepted a farmer’s offer to have dinner not knowing the farmer’s family would consequently miss a meal. Refusing a gift gives significant face to the other person. If they are sincere in their offer, they’ll offer again. If not, they didn’t really mean it.

It is important to wrap gifts, usually in red or gold paper or ribbons. Avoid using black or white because these are associated with funerals. Often the wrapping is more auspicious than the gift itself. I once received a necktie from my good friends at Zhejiang University. The tie itself was
packaged in nine different layers of wrapping, ribbons, boxes, and so on.

Present and receive gifts just as you would business cards, that is, with two hands. The Chinese historically did not open gifts in front of the giver, lest the giver lose face if the gift is not as auspicious as it could be.

These days many folks seem to want you to open the gift in front of them so they can see your reaction, but also because they may not know what the gift is, because their assistant picked it out.

I once exchanged gifts with Zhou Wei, the famous fashion photographer. He told me to open the package, so I did, and it was a preserved duck…the entire duck, head and all. I figured it must be some delicacy, but he just shrugged his shoulders and said he didn’t know what to do with it. Customs officials at LAX confiscated my duck anyway, so I never got to taste how delicous it must have been.

A few gifts are taboo, especially clocks. When the mayor of Wuhan visited our university in California, our provost gave the shocked mayor a clock. The words for “gift clock” are 送钟 song zhong, which sounds just like 送终 song zhong, which means “pay last respects.” Therefore clock gifts are a symbol of the recipient’s impending death.

Other death-related gifts are handkerchiefs, white flowers, or umbrellas. Similarly, sharp objects such as scissors and knives symbolize the severing of a relationship, so skip these.

Also be aware of numerology. For example don’t give four of anything, since four is associated with death. Better to round up to five, or better yet eight.